When Your Nervous System Alarm Won’t Turn Off

Understanding EMDR Therapy

I’ve found that many people who come to therapy find themselves feeling ground down in ways they sometimes struggle to explain. They may notice ongoing anxiety, strong emotional reactions, or just a sense of always feeling on edge. Others say they feel it more subtly in trouble sleeping, struggling to relax, or feeling disconnected from themselves or the people who are important to them.

For some, it’s in their relationships that they feel it the most. Trust feels complicated, and there’s tension in any kind of closeness with others. There can be a sense of waiting for the other shoe to drop, even when things are going well.

One way to understand what’s happening is to think about the nervous system as having an alarm. This alarm turns on to protect us during overwhelming or threatening experiences and, in doing so, helps us survive. Sometimes, after the danger has passed, that alarm doesn’t fully shut off. When that happens, the body continues to react as if the threat is still looming, and over time, living in this state becomes exhausting.

How a Stuck Nervous System Alarm Can Appear

When the nervous system is stuck on alert, it can look different for different people. Some experience ongoing anxiety, restlessness, or always feeling on edge. Others notice irritability, unreasonably strong emotional reactions, or problems sleeping even when physically tired. Some shut down, feel numb, or find everyday demands overwhelming. Some try to find relief by using substances to muffle the alarm constantly going off in the background.

In relationships, this alarm can manifest as difficulty trusting, pulling away when things start to feel close, or feeling the need to stay guarded in order to feel safe and comfortable.

These responses are not signs that something is wrong with you. They show how your nervous system learned to protect you. It has not yet had a chance to update the alarm that the threat has passed and to stand down.

What Is EMDR Therapy?

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. This evidence-based therapy is commonly used to support people working through trauma, anxiety, and other experiences that feel stuck in their nervous systems.

During EMDR therapy, attention is brought to specific memories while using bilateral stimulation, which often looks like guided eye movements or tapping. This dual focus gives the brain an opportunity to reprocess what happened in a way that stores it differently.

The goal of EMDR is not to erase the past or force you to relive difficult experiences. The memory remains, but it loses its power over you as the emotional intensity attached to it shifts. The experience can begin to feel like something properly left in the past rather than something continuing to happen now. As the mind and body accept this shift, the nervous system’s alarm can finally disengage and stop drawing on your mental battery.

Who EMDR Therapy Can Help

EMDR is most often associated with trauma therapy. However, many people who could benefit from EMDR wouldn’t necessarily describe themselves as having experienced trauma.

EMDR therapy can be helpful for people who feel stuck despite developing a lot of personal insight or spending long periods in talk therapy. It can support people who know they are safe but still don’t feel safe. People worn down by constant anxiety, relationship challenges, or ongoing nervous system activation can find relief through EMDR.

If you feel like your system is tired from always being on alert, EMDR therapy may be worth exploring.

EMDR Therapy at Moxie Health & Wellness

We are trained and ready to offer EMDR therapy at Moxie Health & Wellness in Duncan, BC, and online across Canada.

If any of what you’ve read here feels familiar, and you feel you have a system that is never quite willing to settle, EMDR offers a scientifically proven way forward. We gently pace our work collaboratively with you, and it is always grounded in respect for your unique lived experience.

If you’re curious about EMDR therapy and live in the Cowichan Valley, we invite you to come see us in-person. If you don’t live in the Cowichan Valley, we can adapt EMDR for virtual sessions online. We can talk about whether it might be a good fit for you and we’ll take it one step at a time from there.