Strong on the Outside, Struggling Inside: Men’s Mental Health
It is not always easy to tell when someone is struggling. Many men have been taught to keep it together no matter what.
Some men come to counselling because a partner, a doctor, or an employer told them they should. If that’s you, know this: therapy at Moxie isn’t about changing you into someone you’re not. We’re not here to “fix” your personality. This space is yours—a place to talk through your values, your way of being, and your perspective, at your pace and on your terms.
For many men, counselling isn’t just about talking—it’s also about learning practical tools to handle what’s been bothering you. That might mean finding ways to manage a temper that feels out of control, dealing with feelings of rage or frustration, or regaining motivation for things you used to enjoy. It could be working through a loss of interest in your relationship, feeling trapped by a career or family role, struggling to connect with your child or parent, or navigating loneliness or addiction. Whatever it is, therapy offers steady, down-to-earth support to help you understand what’s going on and take real steps toward feeling more like yourself again.
Everyone has times when life feels heavy. We each cope differently, and for men the expectation to be strong and self-reliant can sometimes make it harder to reach out for support. Counselling offers a caring and confidential space to set those burdens down and reconnect with what truly matters to you.
The Weight of Staying Quiet
Qualities like strength, reliability, and calm under pressure are often admired in men. These qualities can serve you well, but they can also make it harder to reach out when life becomes overwhelming.
Sadness might slip out as irritability. Burnout might show up as late nights at work or withdrawing from loved ones. Beneath the surface, there can be a quiet discomfort that never gets spoken out loud.
Many men keep carrying the load until something breaks. It might be a relationship, your health, or a sudden moment of panic. It should not have to get that far.
What We Are Seeing Now at Moxie
At Moxie, we have noticed more men choosing to step through the door, sometimes for the very first time. Many arrive unsure of what they want from counselling. They only know they are tired of feeling shut down, on edge, or weighed down by stress.
With the right support, it can be a relief just to be heard. From there, things begin to make more sense, and men often reconnect with strengths they did not realize were still there.
Signs It Might Be Time to Talk
Feeling restless, short-tempered, or zoning out more often
Using alcohol or distractions to get through the day
Pulling away from family, friends, or activities you used to enjoy
Feeling drained, overwhelmed, or flat even when life looks fine
These signs may not feel dramatic, but they matter. They are worth listening to.
What Support Can Look Like
Not everyone is ready to share deeply right away. That is completely okay. Counselling can be steady and practical, focusing on what feels most useful to you. Sometimes it means putting words to what is not working. Sometimes it is about finding what you want from your relationships, your work, or your life.
Even if you walked in because someone else suggested it, therapy can become a space that belongs to you. A place where you are respected, where you set the pace, and where you are not asked to be anyone other than yourself. Wouldn’t it feel nice to start feeling like yourself again?
If You Are Supporting a Man Who Is Struggling
It can be hard to know how to help. A few gentle ways to open the door include:
“I have noticed you have not seemed like yourself. Want to talk about it?”
“You’ve been carrying a lot. You don’t have to handle it all alone.”
“Things seem pretty heavy right now. Want to talk?”
“I don’t know exactly what to say, but I’m here if you ever want to vent or figure things out.”
“If you want help finding someone to talk to, I can help with that.”
You do not need to have all the answers. Sometimes simply showing that you care is enough to start a conversation.
We Are Here When You Are Ready
You do not have to wait for a breaking point. If something feels off, even if you cannot quite put your finger on it, that is enough. Talking it through with someone who will listen can make a difference.
At Moxie Health & Wellness in Duncan, BC, we offer therapy for men who want to feel more like themselves again. We also meet clients online for virtual sessions on Vancouver Island, throughout British Columbia, and across Canada. Whenever you are ready, we are here for you.
